Sound retrieval for assisted music composition depends on evaluating similarity between musical instrument sounds, which is partly influenced by playing techniques. Previous methods utilizing Euclidean nearest neighbours over acoustic features show some limitations in retrieving sounds sharing equivalent timbral properties, but potentially generated using a different instrument, playing technique, pitch or dynamic. In this paper, we present a metric learning system designed to approximate human similarity judgments between extended musical playing techniques using graph neural networks. Such structure is a natural candidate for solving similarity retrieval tasks, yet have seen little application in modelling perceptual music similarity. We optimize a Graph Convolutional Network (GCN) over acoustic features via a proxy metric learning loss to learn embeddings that reflect perceptual similarities. Specifically, we construct the graph's adjacency matrix from the acoustic data manifold with an example-wise adaptive k-nearest neighbourhood graph: Adaptive Neighbourhood Graph Neural Network (AN-GNN). Our approach achieves 96.4% retrieval accuracy compared to 38.5% with a Euclidean metric and 86.0% with a multilayer perceptron (MLP), while effectively considering retrievals from distinct playing techniques to the query example.