We present the development and implementation of relativistic coupled cluster linear response theory (CC-LR), which allows the determination of molecular properties arising from time-dependent or time-independent electric, magnetic, or mixed electric-magnetic perturbations (within a common gauge origin for the magnetic properties) as well as taking into account the finite lifetime of excited states in the framework of damped response theory. We showcase our implementation, which is capable to offload the computationally intensive tensor contractions characteristic of coupled cluster theory onto graphical processing units, in the calculation of (a) frequency-(in)dependent dipole–dipole polarizabilities of IIB atoms and selected diatomic molecules, with a particular emphasis on the calculation of valence absorption cross sections for the I₂ molecule; (b) indirect spin–spin coupling constants for benchmark systems such as the hydrogen halides (HX, X = F–I) as well the H₂Se–H₂O dimer as a prototypical system containing hydrogen bonds; and (c) optical rotations at the sodium D line for hydrogen peroxide analogues (H₂Y₂, Y = O, S, Se, Te). Thanks to this implementation, we are able to show the similarities in performance, but often the significant discrepancies, between CC-LR and approximate methods such as density functional theory. Comparing standard CC response theory with the flavor based upon the equation of motion formalism, we find that for valence properties such as polarizabilities, the two frameworks yield very similar results across the periodic table as found elsewhere in the literature; for properties that probe the core region, such as spin–spin couplings, on the other hand, we show a progressive differentiation between the two as relativistic effects become more important. Our results also suggest that as one goes down the periodic table, it may become increasingly difficult to measure pure optical rotation at the sodium D line due to the appearance of absorbing states.