Purpose Research has shown that colleagues' norms promoting the need to respond quickly to work-related messages (CN) have a negative effect on work recovery experiences. In the present study, the authors examine the direct and indirect – through affective rumination and problem-solving pondering – effects of these norms on work–family conflict, family–work conflict and job satisfaction, and verify whether and how these associations differ between employees working onsite ( n = 158) or remotely ( n = 284). Design/methodology/approach A total of 442 employees completed an online survey that covered measures on CN, affective rumination, problem-solving pondering, work–family conflict, family–work conflict and job satisfaction. Findings As hypothesized, the study results revealed that CN were positively related to work–family conflict and family–work conflict, but not to job satisfaction. Moreover, the indirect effects of CN on work–family conflict and job satisfaction were significantly mediated by affective rumination and problem-solving pondering, whereas the indirect effects of these norms on family–work conflict were significantly mediated by affective rumination. Finally, the relations between CN and the mediators (affective rumination and problem-solving pondering) were stronger among employees working onsite than among employees working remotely. Originality/value These results revealed that working remotely buffered the detrimental effects of CN on affective rumination and problem-solving pondering.