Efficient surface functionalization with polydopamine (PDA) films can be easily achieved on virtually any object via single immersion in slightly basic dopamine solutions. In such conditions, however, poor homogeneity, low thickness, and long time of reaction are usually the major limitations. Herein, we report a rational entry to the control of PDA deposition via chemical oxidation under slightly acidic conditions (pH 5.0) ensuring inhibition of uncontrolled autoxidation processes to gain insight about the reaction mechanism and the impact of oxidation conditions on PDA structure. Comparative chemical analysis of dopamine oxidation with three different oxidants (ammonium peroxodisulfate, sodium periodate, and copper sulfate) revealed significant differences in the reaction course and allowed selection of periodate for the fast and homogeneous deposition of PDA films with thickness never before reported. Notably, PDA coatings with unprecedented superhydrophilic/superoleophobic properties were obtained under conditions of high periodate concentration due to degradation of quinone units to yield carboxyl functions. Moreover, these films still present biocompatibility and metal cation reduction properties. Overall, these results provide a novel rational methodology to tailor PDA coatings for technological applications based on periodate control over dopamine polymerization and postsynthetic functional group modification.