Purpose Bereavement is far reaching and has a significant impact on many lives as widow(er)s are faced with countless changes to their everyday routines, their relationships and their consumption patterns. It is in this context that the purpose of this study is to examine the links between the meanings of bereavement for widows and the types and sources of social support sought. This deepens the understanding of the reasons for the success or failure of service encounters and thus contributes to consumer well-being. Design/methodology/approach A qualitative study was carried out to gain more insight into this issue. A total of 24 in-depth interviews were conducted with French widows 59 years of age and older. To fully understand the diversity of bereavement experiences, the authors examined the following factors: life trajectory, life, as the spouse’s/partner’s death, support received and/or solicited and the success or failure of service encounters. Findings The findings suggest that bereavement experiences hold different meanings related to the types and sources of the preferred support. The following six classes were identified: dealing with administrative and financial issues, maintaining parental roles, enduring the memories of the circumstances of the spouse’s/partner’s death, reorganizing daily life, facing the loneliness of widowhood and expressing the affects of bereavement. These classes help to identify the conditions for the success or failure of service encounters. Originality/value The following two avenues emerge that contribute to the well-being of widows: “loss-oriented” and “restoration-oriented” bereavement classes of meanings. The former is embodied by widows primarily seeking “nurturant support” who expect self-oriented and relationship-focused service behaviour on the part of service providers, and the latter by widows primarily seeking “action-facilitating” support who expect “task-oriented” service behaviour from service providers. These results should allow service providers to be aware of when to prioritize the task, the self and/or the relationship, to provide a successful service encounter for consumers of bereavement services.